Project Melanie

If you do the same things day after day, you'll get the same results day after day. I've always heard people say this all throughout my life but never paid much attention to those words until now. As I went into work night after night, year after year without any significant changes in my life (other than the rapid decline of my health), I knew something had to give. I became angry and hard to get along with. When my off days were up and I was due to go back to work my entire demeanor changed, my husband knew exactly what was wrong with me everytime it would happen. He knew to steer clear of me and not to say too much. Peace was non existent, I was down right miserable with my life. I used to jokingly say, "my regular job is stopping me from pursuing my dreams". Although it was said jokingly, this was the honest truth. I was too tired and run down from working to pursue what my passion was. Feeling suffocated by life, I started having anxiety attacks and crying spells...

Have you ever felt like there are not enough hours in the day to get everything done? That's how I'm feeling these days. While I do realize there has to be a healthy balance to working, sleeping, family time etc., I also have the drive to continue on pushing myself when I should be getting rest. Ahh if I could just snap my fingers and my thoughts became a reality, that would be a dream come true for sure! I'm appreciating the process though of learning what works and what doesn't. I'm learning more about myself each day by sitting still. By sitting still I mean, taking time out of my day to sit in  silence, relax and reflect upon yesterday. While reflecting upon yesterday, I'm paying close attention to how I felt. If I'm not liking how I felt yesterday, I brainstorm what I can do today to make things better than yesterday. Sitting still in silence was a struggle for me at first. Feelings of guilt and anxiety crept in and I had to figure out why. I was so use...