BANG, BOOM, POW

-
Imagine being in a peaceful sleep and being awakened by sounds of distress. Screaming, drama the whole nine, this is what my life has been like consistently for the past four years. Never knowing what to expect or when to expect it, but knowing something unpleasant is right around the corner is how I've been operating.  What caused me such distress you're probably thinking and may have guessed, yep child number 5.  I joke around telling people there should be a movement against Parental abuse but seriously there really should be. My husband and I have both missed countless nights of work for fear of what would be going on in our home if we left. We never knew who would be allowed into our home while we were away at work overnight and this was a horrible feeling. Coming home after working all night to find people asleep on the couch who shouldn't be there or kids breaking their necks to escape front and back doors when they see us pull up earlier than expected has been our reality. I call child number 5 a risk taker, a daredevil. She stares danger in the face and walks right into it still. I've had many sleepless nights wondering if she's safe when she'd miss curfew, seeing that she gets sloppy drunk and likes to call me when incoherent not knowing where she is. I'm one of those mothers who can be awaken out of a deep sleep instantly if one of my children is in distress. For instance I was asleep before work a few weeks back and was awaken to the voice of child #5 screaming. She was outside and I heard her through my window and immediately jumped up, ran outdoors to see what was going on. She was outside arguing with a lady twice her age. Another example, once again asleep before work and the sound of child #5 screaming and someone else who I didn't recognize screaming back had me jump up and run to the front door. Yep she brought drama to my front door. Here she is running home with another lady chasing her ready to fight and basically trying to run up in my house. This is just some of the ridiculous mess we've been dealing with. Never a dull moment and a horrible way to wake up, jump out of bed and jump into action, that's been my life and my husband and I are exhausted! I sure could write a book on child #5 but right now I am happy she's graduated high school and moved into her own place! Its almost 1 full week and I'm just getting used to being able to sleep peacefully without anticipating the BANG, BOOM, POW...Project Melanie

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Being Productive and Safe

-
With the uncertainty of when our lives will return to normal looming overhead, we have to prepare for the what ifs. The initial shock has worn off and its time to kick into high gear and formulate plans that will bring in extra streams of income. What are some of your interests? You may enjoy writing as I do, you may have a wealth of knowledge about a specific subject and can charge for consultations. How about running your own business where the investment to start is minimal? The first step is figuring out what you're good at and then you can brainstorm how to bring your idea into a moneymaking opportunity. There are plenty of companies recruiting for everything from selling CBD products to being a credit referral agent. There's definitely a wide range of companies to choose from. You have to read all of the fine print and ask questions to see which company would be a good fit for you. Once you join a company, familiarize yourself with the products and services being offere...
Read more

MOVING RIGHT ALONG

-
If you do the same things day after day, you'll get the same results day after day. I've always heard people say this all throughout my life but never paid much attention to those words until now. As I went into work night after night, year after year without any significant changes in my life (other than the rapid decline of my health), I knew something had to give. I became angry and hard to get along with. When my off days were up and I was due to go back to work my entire demeanor changed, my husband knew exactly what was wrong with me everytime it would happen. He knew to steer clear of me and not to say too much. Peace was non existent, I was down right miserable with my life. I used to jokingly say, "my regular job is stopping me from pursuing my dreams". Although it was said jokingly, this was the honest truth. I was too tired and run down from working to pursue what my passion was. Feeling suffocated by life, I started having anxiety attacks and crying spells...
Read more

SITTING STILL

-
Have you ever felt like there are not enough hours in the day to get everything done? That's how I'm feeling these days. While I do realize there has to be a healthy balance to working, sleeping, family time etc., I also have the drive to continue on pushing myself when I should be getting rest. Ahh if I could just snap my fingers and my thoughts became a reality, that would be a dream come true for sure! I'm appreciating the process though of learning what works and what doesn't. I'm learning more about myself each day by sitting still. By sitting still I mean, taking time out of my day to sit in  silence, relax and reflect upon yesterday. While reflecting upon yesterday, I'm paying close attention to how I felt. If I'm not liking how I felt yesterday, I brainstorm what I can do today to make things better than yesterday. Sitting still in silence was a struggle for me at first. Feelings of guilt and anxiety crept in and I had to figure out why. I was so use...
Read more